Thursday, June 12, 2008

1. Change can be very scary, but it can also be very good for you!

As I write this, my husband and I are about to embark on another life-changing adventure--a move back to our home state and the beginning of a brand new career (for my husband). This will be our fourth move to a new city in almost seven years of marriage, and I will admit that it is still scary to me! I've always hated change, especially big life changes, but these past four years have really helped me to learn how to embrace change and accept it as part of the journey. My mom's favorite saying, which was recently quoted by my favorite author/blogger/actor/geek Wil Wheaton, is "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." And, ain't that the truth! Nowhere in my life was this more applicable than on the day my husband matched to his current residency program. During his last year of medical school, we had talked about our future plans--the house we were going to buy, the children we would have, etc. We were absolutely certain that he would get his first choice of residency programs, which just happened to be his medical school alma mater. What a surprise for both us when he not only DIDN'T get into his first choice, but he got into his second choice, which happened to be the program farthest away from our families and friends in another state in a city that we'd never been to except for his residency interview. I will not mince words here. I cried. I was extremely disappointed. Not only would we have to move all over again, but we would be far away from the ones we love and from our well made future plans. At this point in the story, I would like to complain about the process that is known as "matching to medical residency programs." However, I think that would take more time than I have right now, so I'll leave it for a future post. Can I just ask, though, if anyone else thinks it's a rather arbitrary system, or is there some logical reasoning behind the whole fact that basically a computer program tells the medical students where they'll be going for the next 3+ years of their lives? One thing I shouldn't complain about though is that B did get into his second choice, which is far and away better than some of his classmates, who didn't even match to a program ranked in their top five favorite residencies. Anyway, I digress. After B had announced his future residency to his fellow classmates at the Match Day luncheon, and we'd had some time to tell our families and friends the news, I went to the restrooom to wash up a bit and settle down. As I was at the sink, I was met by the wife of one of B's classmates. She and I had become friendly, especially at parties, over the course of our husband's schooling, and I really valued her opinions at the time. When I told her about our future move, she was actually very excited for us and our new adventure, as she called it. And then, I realized how blessed I was to have such a change in my life, which really wasn't as bad I as I thought it was going to be. Here was this young woman who was very happy for me, who had spent a lot of time getting used to her own life changes because she had just moved from her home country of Great Britain to the United States to be with her husband as he finished medical school and started residency in a very competitive field. Not only had she moved VERY far away from her family and friends, but she was also going to be moving again with her husband to another state, where she would have to get a new job, make new friends, etc. And she was excited about it, too! I think it was her attitude that really changed mine. By that afternoon at an end-of-the-school-year party, I was happy and excited and ready to face the unknown. Again, I will not mince words here. I was still very frightened. The whole aspect of moving to a new city AND buying our first home was scary and stressful. However, we made it through that just fine. Then, I found out I'm allergic to bees just four days after we moved. Again, we got through that. I got a new job, started making new friends, learned my way around our new city, and began feeling more comfortable with my surroundings. It was still hard to be away from our families, but that's what cell phones and e-mail are for. Also, I had to remind myself that they were not SO very far away that we couldn't drive a few hours to spend time with them. And, I think we knew in our heads that after B finished residency, there would always be the opportunity to go back, which is exactly what we'll be doing in just a couple of weekends. Again, it's exciting and scary and stressful, but I think I'll be able to handle it because I'm a better person for the changes made (within me as well as around me) over the past few years. Not the least of which is my 2-year-old son. But, I'll save that for another post. Hope to see you there!
Best to you all,

1 comment:

Jason and Beth said...

yay! I'm so glad you're writing a blog! Excited to continue to read about your experiences and your thoughts.
Take care woman!!