Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Unmotivated and Unenergetic

My mommy friend Kristin wrote on her blog recently about how she sometimes feels so unmotivated to do anything, and yet, she has so much to do. I've felt that way off and on for the past few weeks. I'll have these spurts of inspiration and motivation and energy, and suddenly, my entire house is clean, or I've just cooked the most amazing meal for my family and friends, or I went out and did the most fun thing in the world with my husband and son. Some days, though, I wake up when I realize the sun's been out for a while, make sure my son and I have had breakfast, and then, waste half the day playing around on the Internet while my son watches the "Noggin" channel for hours on end. By the time he's ready for his afternoon nap (which sometimes doesn't happen until 3:00 or later), I've realized I've done not one damn productive thing except fed us both. It's those days when I feel so guilty for not being the super mom/wife/woman that I've always tried to be. Maybe it's just the idea of all the things I really should be accomplishing, but just don't feel like doing. I mean, really, who likes doing laundry or cleaning bathrooms or loading/unloading the dishwasher? Maybe it's the fact that winter's approaching, and our actual hours of sunlight are lessening each day. I think I'm always happier and more motivated when the sun is out, especially in the evenings when my husband's home early enough to enjoy it with us. Sometimes, I don't know what my problem is. I have days when I think about what it would be like to be someone else, like one of those celebrity moms who has nannies and maids and personal chefs and personal trainers all on speed dial and ready to do anything for them at a moment's notice. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband and my son. I love being able to be home with my son and being able to go out and do things with him and being able to take care of our little family. However, lately, my son's been going through a pushing/slapping/biting/kicking phase, and my husband's office hours have seemed to be extra long. I've been really wishing for a break. Oh, wait. I will be getting a break. This weekend, a couple of my best girl friends from college and I will be meeting up in Chicago for a little getaway. We have a huge suite waiting for us just south of the Magnificent Mile. We don't have any major plans, except for lots of shopping, sightseeing, and some fine wining and dining. I've been looking forward to this trip for a while now. Luckily, my husband is really okay with me being gone for a few days. In fact, the husband of one of my girl friends will be coming to our house for the weekend, and one of our other guy friends will be joining him and B for some male bonding. And, our son will be there right along with them. It'll be nice for B to have some special time with V. Plus, he'll get a chance to run the household without my help for a few days. I'll let you know how everything goes when I get back on Sunday. B has next Monday and Tuesday off, so not only will I get a break in Chicago, I'll also get a couple of days to catch up with him at home. Yes, I'm really looking forward to it, and I think I may be a little more motivated to get things done before my flight leaves in the afternoon on Friday!
Best to you all,

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