Monday, September 8, 2008

Life And Death...In A Week's Time

We went to the funeral of our friend's father today. V came along because we didn't make arrangements for a babysitter in time. I knew it meant that one of us would be ducking out of the memorial service at some point, since we couldn't expect our 2-year-old to sit through anything unrelated to "Blues Clues" or "Yo Gabba Gabba" for an hour. Luckily, a couple we knew from college was also there with their two young children, so I didn't feel so bad about bringing V with us. We drove up to Indy for the ceremony and got there right when the visitation started. Our friend's father was cremated, so there was no viewing. However, there was an hour long period before the memorial mass in which we were able to speak with him and his family and to view the video slide show of photographs of his father that had been provided for the service. I tried to get V's wiggles out by having him run around outside and by giving him a snack of Cheerios and raisins. It didn't work. He and I were in the ceremony for five minutes, when he decided he didn't like the fact that everyone was singing around him. I took him into the lobby outside of the sanctuary, which was perfectly set up for those of us with young children. There were large windows looking into the sanctuary and a speaker system hooked up from the front of the church to the lobby, so I could both see and hear the memorial mass clearly without bothering everyone with my 2-year-old energetic son. He and I went outside at one point to run around, and by the time we came back into the church's lobby, the service had progressed to communion. V soon fell asleep in my arms, and I was able to listen to the eulogy, written by my friend's mother, in peace. Overall, it was a beautiful and touching service, and afterward, there was a light meal for everyone to enjoy. We were able to spend some time with our friend, who seemed to be taking everything very well. Actually, all of his family seemed to be doing very well under the circumstances. They had much more time with their father and husband than they thought they would, so I think they were able to say their goodbyes and feel at ease when he left them.
On the trip to and from the funeral, my thoughts turned to my own mortality. At one point, I wondered what it will be like when I die--how it will feel, what it will look like, how it will happen. Of course, I hope that it doesn't happen for a very long time, like after I've met my great-grandchildren. And then, as I was thinking about it, I realized that death can be so incomprehensible. I just couldn't get my brain around the fact that one day in the future, my body will wear out and my soul will leave it to go God only knows where. Of course, all of these thoughts led to the inevitable conversation with my hubby about making up our will. It is such a morbid thing to think about, but now that we have a child and may have more in the future, we really need to think about his (and their) well-being if we're no longer around to take care of him (them). We'll have to discuss it further, but now that we're settling into life in our new town, we really need to get it taken care of soon.
Of course, talking about making up a will lead to talking about having more children. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, probably because I have several mommy friends who are having or have had more children. I must admit that I'm a little scared about the prospect. Will I be a good mommy when I have two instead of just one little one to take care of? Will I be able to keep up with the demands of having two children, especially with my husband practicing medicine and having limited time to help out around the house and with various other responsibilities? The great thing about it is that I have plenty of time to think things through. We're not ready for another child yet, and we probably won't be until after B's finished his first year at his new office. I know there's always the possibility of getting pregnant when we least expect it, but my choice of birth control (the Mirena IUC) has been pretty reliable so far. Sorry if that's too much information. I'm just being honest.
To make this week a little more unusual, we're starting it with a funeral and ending it with a wedding. B has a cousin that will be getting married on Saturday. I can't remember the last time I met her, and it's going to be a long trip to and from the ceremony. However, I think it's going to be fun, and it'll be a nice way to turn our thoughts to happier things and to a more joyful time of life. I loved our wedding day. Actually, I love all weddings. I love to watch shows about weddings, sometimes. They just make me feel so happy and peaceful and full of hope for the future of the human race. I love the fact that every bride is so beautiful on her special day, and of course, any celebration that ends with cake is perfect by me! ;) Really, though, I think I love weddings because they're all about love and hop and beginning a new life together. Every wedding day is a wonderful day, so I'm looking forward to Saturday.
Finally, in the whole circle of life thing, I found out yesterday that some friends of ours who we only see at game conventions are going to have a baby some time in the next year. Yay for them! I know it's something they've been wanting for a while, and it's such a blessing when it happens to such great people. I wish them nothing but the best, and I know they're going to make wonderful parents. I just hope they bring the new little one to a convention some time in the future, so I can meet him/her. So, it's really been an interesting week for us, and it's only just begun. It makes me wonder what's going to happen next. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out tomorrow.
Namaste, friends, and best to you all,

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